A change.

I'm beginning to think I don't want a job. I'm sick of these endless searches, these searches that end in my rejection. I don't want to get married either (as that it is the other option). I want a fun job. Like construction. Or working on a boat. Everybody laughs when I tell them that but I would love to do something like that. Too bad I don't live in the states...they don't really have that many female construction workers in Pakistan.

As graduation approaches I am becoming more and more bitter. I feel like my four years here have been a complete waste. My worst grades are in my major. I am unemployed. I haven't met anyone (male or female) who I really connect with. Basically all of this has been for shit. I'm a little scared to know what's in store for me. More rejection and despair?

I don't understand why I'm becoming so sensitive and bitchy now that the end is near. I guess I'm like my father and want to "test" my relationships. Or just fuck everything over so I don't have any anxiety when I leave. I am such a basket case. I am going to miss my therapist.