Settling.

I think I need to accept that my life is not going to be what I expect it to be. I used to have all these hopes and dreams and I was caught in striving to acheive my goals. I've realized now that I may achieve these goals but if I don't end up there, I shouldn't be disappointed. Its like hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. And more importantly I need to stop chasing these "things", these possibly unattainable dreams and aspirations. Because these dreams and aspirations I have are unrealistic. I need to be happy with where I am and enjoy what I have.

I'm applying to a few schools to take math classes in the hopes they will get me into a better grad school. I just have to get off my ass and write these stupid essays for Penn. It is the evil world of cable that is stopping me from being a productive human being.

I am excited about the thought of a) finding a new job and b) going to grad school. However the more I think about it the more I am scared. What if I hate these things like I hate the job I have now? I suppose there is only one way to find out...