Questions.

One of my co-workers is handing in her resignation today. She doesn't work in my department but she's one of the few decent people in this company. I'm really happy for her but at the same time the fact that she's leaving just makes me more depressed. She doesn't have a job lined up for her -- she's just going to figure stuff out after she chills out for a while. She spent this past year paying off her debts and stuff. Why haven't I got my act together? I have gotten nowhere with my debts in this past year. What the hell have I been doing with myself?

Ugh. I just have no clue what to do with myself. I'm torn between all of these things I want to do and when I try to get to where I want to be I get doors slammed in my face. Its really easy to sit and think of solutions when I always have a zero yield.

My dad thinks all of this is happening to me because I don't pray. I can't remember the last time I said my prayers. I don't know why I don't pray; I believe but I can never bring myself to pray. I think its because I feel like a giant hypocrite standing in front of God asking Him for forgiveness when I know I'm going to turn around and commit a sin.

What about all those people who don't pray and have everything going for them? How does that work?

What if my dad is right though? What if all of this is happening because I don't pray? Ugh.