Waiting...

I got a call for an interview but the recruiting woman and I are playing phone tag in order to schedule this interview. I really just want to get it over and done with and hate waiting. I hate having anxiety issues over this. And waiting for the phone ring. I also really want a job. I've applied to more than 20 jobs and have not gotten an offer yet. I don't understand how some people are so lucky and get what they want. I told my parents this and my dad said, "You're just like me. I used to submit five (or fifteen, I don't remember) resumes every week for three months and only heard back from one place." My mom, on the other hand, has only been rejected from one job in her whole life. If my life is going to turn out like my father's, I am scared and am going to start digging my own grave. The fact that it is snowing doesn't make things any better....

I just talked to my dad and am even more frustrated than before. I am missing an important document to apply for a work visa and the worse case scenario is that I will have to leave the country and re-enter to get that document attached to my passport. So I told my dad that and he was like, "It's ok. I'm sure this is happening for a reason and I'm actually really glad this happened." I always knew my dad's prayers are always answered but this is something else. Secretly, both my parents want me to come home after graduation and look after them. They don't hide that this is true. So now their prayers are being answered. I don't have a job offer and my work visa might not come through. Which means I have killed myself at this institution for a fucking degree so I can serve tea to everyone and their mom. Don't they want me to be happy? Can they really be so selfish? Or is it me who is being selfish?