Let the Bitching Continue.

I don't think I'd hate my job if it wasn't full of so much retarded crap. I've been keeping pretty busy and have been pretty productive for past week or so and it felt pretty good. I actually felt like I was going somewhere. But now I have to tackle what I've been avoiding. Going through these retarded brokerage bills. This is the most retardest shit ever. No joke.

If this menial shit didn't consume most of my day and week there is so much else I could do! I also think I have reverse motivational issues. Getting through this menial crap means I can do the fun stuff but I have no desire to get through the menial crap even though whats waiting at the end is good. One would think I'd rush to get it done and get it over with but no. Thats not how it works with me.

In my group there are three of us and then my supervisor/boss. We have been in the process of cross training and I got stuck with learning everybody's stuff. During my informal performance review it was brought to light that I'm eager to learn and volunteered to learn the most. Yes, I am eager to learn but in no way did I volunteer to learn everybody's roles and responsibilities. One of co-workers is pregnant so there is no point to her learning stuff as she's going to be on maternity leave for 3 months. So basically, that leaves me. Yes my boss too but she has to learn everything anyway. I mean, what the fuck. I'm supposed to teach everybody what I do, learn everybody else's shit, keep with my daily bs, and work on my projects? What the fuck. What the fuck.

Am I the only one here who sees something wrong with this situation?

I've been applying for jobs and haven't heard back yet. Granted its been a week but I know this feeling. I know where it goes. I know how it goes from here. I can deal with the idea that I may not get another job and may be stuck here for another year or so. My life would suck but I could learn to deal with it. What I cannot learn to deal with is if this pattern continues to when I apply for graduate school. And I can't help but think thats where this is going to go.

I watched Sideways last night and I couldn't help but relate to one aspect of Paul Giamatti's character. He knows he's not going to get published but his friend is like "Oh, I can feel it this time. I know its going to happen for you." And it doesn't. Is that how its going to be?

If you're thinking of watching the movie, it sucked. Don't waste your time or your money.