Give up.

We return again to the question that has been hanging over my head since forever. What the fuck am I doing with my life? I hate my job but am trapped in this situation where I can't do much. Jobs are hard to come by. Jobs are even harder to come by if you're academically challenged. Putting the academically challenged part aside I'm not really sure I want to be in the field I am in. But its too late to make the change. And I have my parents to thank for that. I guess all I can do is make the best out of my situation. I suppose what is the most depressing about this whole situation is that I had such high hopes for myself. I had high hopes, dreams, ambitions, all that crap. And one by one each and every one of those hopes, dreams, and ambitions got stomped on and crushed. What the hell happened to me?

Maybe if I get some prozac I'll be better. I've been in this funk for such a long time and I've tried pretty much everything to snap out of it. Except prozac. Maybe that is the answer. That way I'll numb myself to everything. And I'll just get by.

I hope by some miracle I get this job in DC. And I hope by some miracle its the best thing for me. I hope I hope I hope. And if I don't get that job, hopefully something else will work out. I am going to be positive. I must be positive.