Chillax.

I tried to post this really depressing post yesterday and for some reason it failed to upload. At first I was upset and frustrated because it was yet another thing in my life that wasn't going the way I wanted it to. And now I realize how silly that attitude is.

Everytime I read this woman's blog I receive some form of an inspiration to continue and try to get where I want to be. Sometimes her blog is annoying but at other times I see her struggles, how far she's come, and her positive attitude and it makes me think, it would be easy for me to give up and stop trying because I've never gotten anywhere in my life. Yes that would be easy. But can I really do that? Is that really the person I am? I think the answer to that question is no.

Its just so damn hard to keep struggling. I wish I wish, for once in my life, a big and exciting change could come though. Its like that Smiths song, "Please please please let me get what I want this time. Lord knows it would be the first time." I think I would keep trying if I knew for sure that my efforts aren't going to be fruitless. But as I see it, I've tried and tried and I've kept on failing. So when is my luck going to change?