Ramblings.

My friend's mom is in town and took a whole bunch of us out for dinner. At first I was really nervous because most parents hate me. But it turned out to be a really nice evening. She was so nice and what I always thought a mother should be like. And so it was funny watching her interact with her daughter and then us and she was really cool. So unlike my mother. I tried to imagine my mom out with my friends and I shuddered. She would either be struck with narcolepsia and start snoring at the dinner table or talk about herself all the time. Or try to be one of my friend's friend. Not their friend's mother. I used to look up to my mom but she's so different now she's not who she used to be. Or maybe thats just growing up. I think it is. Or maybe I'm still in my angsty teenage years where I think my parents bad and everything they do is wrong. Or maybe its because I'm in this state of cultural confusion. And as I move to one end of the spectrum my parents stand in opposition to that (in every sense of the word). And so when I see my friends with their moms I see that as a more suitable mother-daughter relationship than the one I have with my mom. I don't relate to my mom at all. I can't tell her anything about my life because she just doesn't understand. She is going through a really hard time right now for various reasons but I think she's being a little unrealistic and crazy about the whole situation. Long story short I don't feel the "click" with my mom anymore and that makes me sad.