I.Must.Relax.

I woke up Sunday morning/afternoon/early evening thinking I was going to have a heart attack. Chest pains, difficulty breathing, the whole package. I think it's just panic attacks though. Lots of them - pretty much since Sunday.

My staying out till 6AM, drinking too much alcohol along with the ciggies and blunts I smoked probably didn't help. I need to find out about my loan asap or my head will explode. I was supposed to find out today but now they're saying Wednesday.

I've convinced myself I will be happy whatever happens: g-school, NoLibs, or a job in NYC. It won't be that bad - really. But what will be really great is if I can get on with my life and go to grad school!!!!

All this stress is wreaking havoc on my body. I have two semi-giant zits on the bridge of my nose so it looks like a piercing. I am also growing white hair in a certain very private area of my body. Oh yeah, and when I'm not sleeping 10 hrs a night, I'm not sleeping at all.

Tick.Tock.

I hope Wednesday comes soon and I hope it's good news!!!!