Going through the motions.

As I walking to the subway yesterday I thought to myself, "It's finally Friday!" But you know what? I'm tired of being one of those people who live for the weekend. And when Monday rolls around, I don't want to start counting down the days till Friday. I don't want to hate waking up five out of seven days of my week and my life.

Lately I feel like I'm just becoming numb to everything. There were a few days this week when the weather was nice and I was happy about things. But I realized that was just on the surface; inside I'm still bitter and unhappy.

I know a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm due my period any day now and the coming of spring signifies me getting closer to leaving. Which means stress. Stress with leaving my job. Financial stress. Family stress. Packing stress. Moving to a new country and new culture stress. Stress about failure. A whole lot of stress.

Also, my race was cancelled. So far I'm 0-2 for running races this year. Blah.