3 X 3 = 9

I went to visit Butt Doctor today and, if ever there was a doubt that I should have been born a blonde, it was confirmed today.

Butt Doctor: You've been taking your medication regularly as prescribed?
Me: Yes.
Butt Doctor: Three pills, three times a day?
Me: Yes.
Butt Doctor: Well, I'm glad to hear you've responded very well to the treatment.
Me: Wait a second. Three pills, three times a day, as in a total of nine pills a day?
Butt Doctor: Yes.
Me: Oh. I've only been taking one pill three times a day. For a total of three pills a day.
Butt Doctor: Huh.

The good news: I've responded very well to my self-adjusted dosage (which I thought was too high).
The bad news: He's increased (or decreased, depending on how you want to look at it) my dosage to two pills, two times a day. For the mathematically challenged, like myself, that comes to four pills a day.

He then asked if I needed to refill my prescription. I said no to which he said, with a smile: "Yeah, I'm sure you have plenty of pills left over." We laughed. He's lucky I find him attractive - otherwise I wouldn't think he was so funny. Too bad he's my butt doctor.

Now I have to take a capsule endoscopy to rule out Chron's disease and a DEXA exam to rule out osteoporosis (I guess colitis patients are at a higher risk for osteoporosis than people with normal bowels).

As cool as the capsule endoscopy sounds, I'm not sure I'm going to get it. I shudder to think how much its going to cost me, and, I really don't think I have Chron's disease. Plus Butt Doctor said it would be a useful test result to have but he's not going to twist my arm if I don't get it. So I don't think its that important.

The DEXA exam sounds pretty normal and, as a woman, osteoporosis is something that I should be concerned about. I'll probably schedule that exam sometime in the near future.

And I have an appointment with Butt Doctor in six months!